Ginko’s Posters Ranked by How Sexy They Are : Warning, it gets mean

As the live, laugh, love generation slowly declines into old age, a new generation of interior decorations have emerged. Particularly in Oberlin, you can find these posters at our very own Ginko Art Gallery.  Despite Zoom classes, you can surely find some of these posters in your classmates’ backgrounds to indicate “I’m not one of those Live, Laugh, Love people. My posters are quirky prints of vintage stuff like potatoes and leaves and anatomy and I have depth!” Some, however, are objectively (and subjectively) sexier than others. And I’m here to rank them.

6.  There’s a lot I could say about this but I’ll keep it short and simple: this is for total STEM nerds. Like, the type of person who memorized pi in 10th grade and still brings it up when they are drunk. And we all know this type of person gets no ass. Pro-Tip: Focus less on chemicals and more on chemistry. B-O-R-I-N-G and N-O-T  S-E-X-Y. NEXT!

5. Okay I get, like, anatomy is a thing but EW. Not to mention the concerning lack of ass in this picture. Honestly, when I think “what is the least sexy thing ever” depictions of the muscles and limbic system are pretty high up (skeletons are sexy).  But this poster is also written in French, and a French man was mean to me one time (and I liked it) so this is S-L-I-G-H-T-L-Y  S-E-X-Y

4. This poster screams “I know peanuts are actually legumes and I make a point to say it every time peanuts are brought into a conversation” or “I didn’t eat vegetables until I turned 18 and now make a point to overcompensate.” In general, vegetables and legumes should be eaten rather than plastered on your wall. The only redeemable quality of this poster is the phallic shaped plants. A devoted vegan could probably rub one out to this. Therefore, K-I-N-D-A   S-E-X-Y.

3. Mushrooms, Shroomies, Shrooms, Mushies, MushyRoomy, MushyWushyRoomy. Whatever you call them, you can’t deny the sex appeal and cottagecore vibes. Just imagine, you’re holding hands with a total hottie and wandering through a green forest with trees that cover all but slivers of the sky. You look down, and a bashful group of mushrooms are nesting along the path. The hottie bends over (they have a great ass) and picks one up. They come real close and whisper, “This is a young Amanita muscaria.” and they tuck it behind your ear before picking you up Twilight style and just start running and shit. All in all, straight up S-E-X-Y!!

2. Okay, I know science is boring but in times like these it comes in handy. Stars= hot and hot=SEXY. In these posters particularly, the sharp contrast of the night sky really shows how HOT (sexy) these stars are.  Constellations themselves tell silly little tales and are sure to spark a conversation about the expansive sky or your zodiac sign. Astrological babes would love or may own this poster and have changed the dating game by urging their dates to awkwardly ask their parents for their birth time. Total power move! This poster, however, was rated second sexiest because one could dangerously slip into faux deep conversations about, like, “the universe.” which is sure to make anyone drier than the Sahara. Thus, this poster is A-S-S-T-R-O-N-O-M-I-C-A-L-L-Y S-E-X-Y

  1. HANDS DOWN the sexiest poster of all. This poster is like a sexy tramp stamp on your wall (my roommate said this).First and foremost, there are less than 10 words on the entire poster, beautiful depictions of butterflies, and it is oh-so colorful. Just truly nice to look at.  I’m getting butterflies looking at these butterflies! Not to mention these butterflies were once trapped in ugly little cocoons but have come out vibrant, free, and outright sexy. It’s like a metaphor for when you finally  grow out of these posters. All in all, A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y   S-E-X-Y.