Grape Blind Date: Ella and Kar

One fateful night this February, two sophomores hopped on Zoom after answering The Grape’s Blind Date Google Form questions with almost uncanny similarity. This Zoom meet-up would have been a completely blind date, except their idiot interviewer emailed them beforehand without bcc’ing them. What happened next? Read on! 

These interviews have been edited for length and clarity. 

ELLA’S SIDE

How’d the date go?

It was really good! I was kind of surprised that it was that good, because I was like, “I feel like they didn’t ask us that many questions. How are they going to pair us up?” But weirdly Kar and I have a lot in common, which was very funny.

What did you end up talking about?

We talked a lot about traveling and road tripping especially, because that’s something that we both really love. We talked about movies a lot, because we both watch movies and talk during movies. Which is like, my biggest flaw, but he was like, “Oh, I talk in movies all the time.” We talked about so many things — we talked for 3 hours!

Wow! Did you know each other at all before, aside from me emailing you both?

Well we actually both work for Admissions and Barefoot. So, when I saw his name I was like, “Oh I know him because I’ve seen him on Zoom sessions, but I don’t know him very well.” It’s just kind of funny that we work for the same organizations, we have the same answers on our forms… 

Have you road-tripped to any of the same places?

Yes! Weirdly enough, I just got back from a road trip last week and the three cities that I went to were Philly, Ann Arbor, and Chicago, and he was like, “Those were the last three places that I went.” I was like, what?!

I love that.

It was very random.

Had you been on a Zoom date before? 

I hadn’t.

What was it like to be on Zoom? 

I thought it was going to be weird, but also I feel like I’ve had a lot of practice with talking on Zoom because I do Barefoot and it’s all virtual. So has Kar, so we were both like, “Oh this feels really normal.” But right at the beginning I was like, I’m turning off my self view because I can’t handle looking at myself during this date. So I had my self view off for three hours.

That seems really good for a date since you’re already self conscious a little bit. Do you have any advice for other folks embarking on Zoom dates?

Definitely turning off your self view, because it makes you feel like you’re talking to someone — and after three hours it didn’t feel like that long which was nice, and I think part of that was because I wasn’t focused on myself, I was very focused on interacting with him. I’d also say, come with the expectation that there might be awkward pauses and that that’s totally OK. I’m also someone who always has lots of questions in my brain that are my go-to first date questions — and Kar was definitely like that as well, so we didn’t have any awkward pauses. But if you’re uncomfortable with awkward pauses, bring questions!

Do you have a top question? 

My go-to question is: What kitchen appliance are you? 

What kitchen appliance are you? 

I am a whisk. 

Do you have reasoning?

I feel like I’m really good at some things, but other things I’m just kind of useless and you’re like, why do we have this in the kitchen? … I’ve gotten some really hilarious responses on that one. Someone was like, I really want to say something sexy like a blender, but I’m a wooden spoon. 

I love that a blender is sexy. … Are you going to go on a second date? 

At the end he was like, I don’t think we should talk that much about what we’re going to tell our interviewer because it’s kind of fun to not know what we’re going to say — but I know she’s going to ask if we want a second date, so maybe we should talk about that. And I was like, yeah we can definitely talk about that! I think we’re going to hang out and watch a movie. 

What a success story! 

Yeah!

KAR’S SIDE

How’d your date go? 

I think the date went really well. Turned out we had a lot of things in common, we vibed, and we hung out for like three hours. It was fun!

Amazing! I’ve never been on a three hour first date.

That’s good to know. Don’t include that!

What did you talk about? 

First of all, we knew each other through working together on Barefoot Dialogue, and we also apparently worked for the Admissions Office together. The real ice breaking point was when we addressed that the blind date part of it had been revealed — which was a really fun ice breaker.

Well, good.

But then also was a great segue into making it a very comfortable environment. We talked about movies. Because of our conversation I ended up watching both Narnia movies that night. She’s been watching a dog for a friend of hers, who I got to meet and who for a moment left the call on her behalf. And then she came back.

That’s so cute.

We covered a lot of ground in three hours. 

I heard you both talk during movies. 

If it’s a bad movie, we’ll talk during it, but if it’s a good movie we’ll both be very intensely focused on it. We have a lot of things in common, so we’re very confused as to how the Grape pulled that off. But we’re both very happy about it. 

Had you gone on a Zoom date before?

No, this is the first Zoom date I’ve ever done before. 

Did you like it? 

It was interesting, thinking about socializing with someone. You just have faces and you’re talking, so I think I was really able to focus a lot more just on the person and who they are. I was a lot less self conscious about my own physicality and the clothes I was wearing. It was just a little bit more relaxed. At the same time, there was some Zoom awkwardness to get past because it was two very different places. Different time zones, even. 

Do you have any advice for other Grape form-answer-ers on their Zoom dates?

Go in with a very open mind. It’s very easy, particularly with a Zoom date, to think because it’s a Zoom date it’s not going to be fun. With the whole medium and everything else going on, there’s a bit of Zoom fatigue. So don’t let that get in the way. Share about yourself and ask as many questions as you can, because that’s really all that’s going to happen! The opportunity of getting to know someone is a lot of fun, so enjoying that time for what it is is really important.

I heard you tipped Ella off that I’d ask about a second date.

I used that to frame asking whether there would be a second date. We’re considering watching a movie next week, maybe — it’s going to be awhile before we’re on campus together, so it’ll be interesting to see how we adapt and where this goes. 

Any last thoughts?

I’m very glad I got to interact with someone I had tangentially been involved with at certain points, but now actually got to know them a little better. We’re texting, so if nothing else we’re becoming friends!