We’re all Obies here, so, naturally, we all love sticking it to The Man. We quote Foucault in our sleep. We roast the patriarchy for lunch and skewer capitalism for dinner, with anger in our hearts and lukewarm lentils on our plates. The seeds of subversion course through our iron-deficient blood.
And, although we all, for the most part, bleed this same Bernie blood here, there is one particular cohort of Oberlin students who have gone above and beyond in their Man-sticking, hell-raising, and norm-bending. We tracked down every Harkness grad from the last 10 years to see just how a granola maker or a DLEC applies those skills to the workforce. As it turns out, the answer is Investment Banking!
We picked up a grad of this elite cohort (through groundbreaking new vibe-detecting technology) where we truly least expected to find one—sauntering out of the Bank of America Financial Center located at 95 Wall Street, New York City, N.Y. We could not hide our shock.
What did Adam “No Relation” Smith, OC ‘89, have to say for himself?
“Well, I don’t know, it sort of just happened. Bul listen, you need to make some money first if you’re going to make a difference. Radical prophets require radical profits, if you catch my drift…haHAA. Anyway, I’ll water my roots once I’m done flourishing.”
Ah yes, Adam, as Ellen has shown us, this is a strategy that definitely works! Keep up the good work. One person really can change the world.