How the signs are dealing with being back at Oberlin

Pisces: Forming an emotional connection with the wasps on their porch.

Scorpio: Has been self isolating for years.

Cancer: Asking all 5 people left on tinder to go for a walk in the arb.

Libra: Channeling their horniness into baking and nesting.

Gemini: Camera meticulously positioned so you can see all the books they haven’t read on their desk.

Aquarius: Being really weird and intense about powerpoint party night.

Aries: Challenging a dean to a fist fight.

Sagittarius: All sagittariuses have already been sent home.

Leo: Smoking on their porch begging for someone to perceive them.

Taurus: No meal plan just cookie deliveries.

Virgo: Reminding their friends to take vitamins, worried their friends are mad at them for being too pushy about the vitamins.

Capricorn: Directing traffic in Stevie in their spare time.