So you’re approaching your third socially distanced walk in the arb with that new cutie you’ve been seeing. The sexual tension is palpable, and you’re feeling ready to take things to the next level: A steamy and serious sit down conversation with the people in your pod to discuss the ramifications of you possibly fucking.
1. Lorde, “Liability”
Set the mood by openly acknowledging the risk you pose to your pod, yourself, and the entire Oberlin community.
2. Selena Gomez, “Can’t Keep my Hands to Myself”
Is it getting hot in here? Disclose to your pod that you haven’t seen a mouth or another set of genitals in 7 months.
3. Madonna, “Like a Virgin”
Light some candles, draw a bubble bath, and calmly convey to your friends that you are so fucking horny and alone you might instantly cum from someone lightly breathing on your neck or giving you a compliment.
4. Beyoncé, “All Night”
Oh fuck yeah, you and your pod are in for a long night of passionately making pros and cons lists. You might even need to call a second (or third and fourth) house meeting if you just can’t get enough, or also if a fight breaks out.
5. Future, “Mask Off”
Time to slow things down and sensually negotiate everyone’s boundaries. Are you throwing away your sense of security for what might be very mediocre sex? Do you even have any chemistry with them or are you just desperate for a warm body? Don’t think about it!
6. Phoebe Bridgers, “Funeral”
Haha, too dark? I mean… just in case…