-Mom gets angry and defensive when you ask why we still do boy-girl seating
-You are asked to explain “that bakery stuff” to the whole room
-Huge fight with a home friend
-Afternoon crying fit because this visit makes you feel caught between worlds
-Someone who ghosted you texts “Happy Thanksgiving, hope you’re well!”
-Awesome hookup with high school ex, which prompts identity crisis
-Surprisingly nice moment where Dad gives some gruff words of maybe-not wisdom but definitely affirmation
-Uncle makes uncomfortable Monica Lewinski joke
-Art snob cousin picks today to come out to everyone (which was sort of your plan)
-Someone brings something called a “cheese pie” which sucks
-Mom brings up your recent UTI anecdotally
-Family friend’s college-aged son still isn’t hot
-You get drunker than you were on Halloween
-Too drunk to trust yourself to explain why what grandpa just said is racist
-Insane amounts of American exceptionalism in the family prayer
-Dad uses your visit to float the idea of turning your room into a study for him
-Mom heavily implies she hates your sweater by saying “That’s not your color”
-Aunt emails you a link to an article a couple of days later that is evidently related to a conversation you have no memory of
-You are seated at the kids end of the table because the adults did not want to hang out with their kids or hire a babysitter.
-The mashed potatoes are sort of weird this year
-Talking about your major, hearing yourself say things like “I don’t think a major really matters”